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QaF Fic: How to Survive a Sandstorm

  • Sep. 19th, 2005 at 10:57 PM
My Feet
First, a warning: I will probably be tweaking this, because I'm not happy with it yet. But it was due on Sunday for Worst-case Scenario Challenge and I don't want to push the deadline too far. So, uh, you can give me constructive criticism, if you feel like it. And thank you [info]dreamcatcher for catching those mistakes.



“What are we doing in rural China again?” asked Brian.

“Adopting a child,” said Justin.

“Oh yeah. Ted owes me free taxes forever after this.”

“He already does both of our taxes for free.”

“Okay, then he should forgo his salary. Except then he wouldn’t be able to support Ted Junior. Or maybe Thea Junior.” Brian grimaced.

“You like Ted,” said Justin, smiling slightly.

Brian shrugged. “Tell me when we get there.” Brian pulled his fingers away from where they’d been obsessively stroking the hairs on Justin’s neck and took out his cellphone to check his email. Again.

The ancient taxi rattled to a stop quite a ways outside of town, probably because the road sort of disappeared. The equally ancient taxi driver waved to them, smiling toothily, and Justin handed him more Chinese money than it technically cost for their ride, mostly because he had given up trying to do the exchange rates in his head. He used two of his five Chinese words, all learned within the last week to say, “Wait, please.” Then he got out and marched into the small town, knowing that Brian would be along eventually.

It was an odd mix of old and modern--the buildings were old, but they had powerlines. The streets were unpaved, but the houses had concrete walls. The meeting house was the largest building in town and that was where the adoption would take place, where the Chinese officials were supposed to meet them, and where Justin and Brian would sign papers on Ted and Blake’s behalf, thus--according to Brian--indenturing Ted for life.

He heard Brian’s footsteps before an arm hooked around his shoulders. “Where are they?” Brian asked glancing up and then glancing back down at his phone, relying on Justin to guide him. Their feet continued to crunch with each step as they strode across the gravelly dirt.

“I don’t know. It does kind of look deserted.” Kind of, as in totally. Where were all the people? He hoped this wasn’t some sort of bizarre Chinese horror film they’d inadvertantly wandered into.

Brian poked him in the arm, and Justin brushed his finger away in annoyance. “What?”

“Look,” Brian pointed at his cellphone screen. It was a weather alert. For a sandstorm. Headed for the nearly non-existent town they were standing in. Justin looked west and saw a brown cloud, very small and low, but growing as he watched.

“Holy shit, Brian!”

Brian grabbed his wrist. “The town is closer than the taxi," he said, in the deadly calm voice that meant he was freaking out.

So they sprinted to the meeting house. The cloud got closer, the wind got louder, and by the time they were pounding on the door, it was nearly impossible to to hear their own knocking. Justin found himself swearing a little hysterically under his breath, Brian’s fingers digging into his forearm while Brian pounded and shouted ineffectually at the locked door.

“I know what to do,” shouted Justin after several deep breaths. He had read in one of Daphne's coffeetable books about surviving a sandstorm--and a train crash and a bank robbery, which had seemed more likely at the time.

Justin dug around in his messenger bag and pulled out the baby blanket Lindsay had given them for Ted Junior. Then he pulled out a small tube. It wasn’t vaseline like the book had recommended, but it was all he had. Brian’s ridiculously expensive silicone lube was better than nothing, right?

One glance over his shoulder at the approaching cloud, then he shoved Brian--who was eyeing him strangely--against the wall. When he snapped open the lube, Brian raised an eyebrow and said something that sounded like, “Now?” but subsided when Justin rubbed the lube inside his own nose and then handed it over to Brian. Hesitating only a second, Brian did the same. Then he towed Justin by the strap of his bag to the most sheltered side of the building. He separated the strap from Justin’s chest and loosened it to make room for himself, the bag holding them chest to chest. Justin arranged the blanket over their heads and put his hands around Brian’s neck to hold it in place. Brian copied him, and firmly backed him up against the wall. They leaned their foreheads together, breathed shallowly, and waited.

Gradually came the curious noise of billions of particles of sand hitting every surface for miles, including each other. It was like a long, rough sigh, with a touch of waves crashing or maybe a hard rain falling, but so very dry. Sand tickled up through Justin’s sleeves and his pants and after a while it started to sting. He had his eyes shut instinctively and it was odd living in a dark, sighing little world, Brian’s breath brushing his chin. Or maybe it was like being blind in a room with a television tuned to static. It made his brain feel blank, scoured like the buildings, and he lost track of time, counting Brian’s breaths instead.

When he got to one hundred and twelve, the noise started to die down. By one hundred and forty-five, it had stopped blowing hard enough to sting. Brian pulled away slightly and coughed.

“Ted Junior had better grow up to be a genius and support all of us in our retirement,” said Brian. “I think I have sand in my ass.”

“Me too.” Justin let his arms drop and the blanket came free, raining sand everywhere. “And this lube smells funny.” The door to the meeting house cracked open.

“I promise it won’t be anywhere near your nose when we get back.” Brian shook himself and rained more sand. “Now let’s get this baby and get the hell out of the Grapes of Wrath.”

Tags:

Comments

[info]and_the_damned wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 08:11 am (UTC)
Ahhhhhhh, fantastico!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 06:57 pm (UTC)
:D
[info]paddies wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 09:03 am (UTC)
That was absolutely lovely!!! :D:D:D

Brian/Ted BFF and I love resourceful!Justin... ;-)

OMG I still have to read the other dare!stories (at least the non angsty ones)...*iz slow*
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 06:59 pm (UTC)
EEE. I didn't even really think about the Ted/Brian BFFness, I was just desperate for a way to get them to a place that had sandstorms. But now, upon reflection, it was obviously the way of the cosmos that guided me to the truth that is B/T BFF :D

Thank you!

(Hahaha, all the dare stories are good, but there were a lot right away, so you should take as long as you want.)
[info]luceononuro wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 09:31 am (UTC)
Justin learns survival from coffee-table books - this is the best thing ever - it's like knowing how to make a boat sail out of a Prada suit ;)

I loved this - you're brilliant!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
YES! Justin is like a sponge for heretofore useless knowledge :D

I think you should write a story about making a sail boat out of a Prada suit.

Thanks! *tosses her ego behind her*
[info]bliss_ wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 10:27 am (UTC)
Very nice!! *claps*
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:00 pm (UTC)
*bows* :D
[info]mclachlan wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 10:49 am (UTC)
That was really good. Very good. And I learned something from it!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:01 pm (UTC)
Thanks! So did I. Those little books are addicting. I have the traveler's edition and I'm like, "So THAT"S how you survive an alligator attack..."
[info]_alicesprings wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 11:02 am (UTC)
Hee!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:01 pm (UTC)
:D
[info]shadownyc wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 11:27 am (UTC)
Justin was always a walking PSA--he knows the right thing to do under any circumstance. I love this fic. :)
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:03 pm (UTC)
It's so true. He should be the next Maguiver. Thanks :D
[info]luciblue wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 12:28 pm (UTC)
BAHAHA. I Love. Thea junior. Excellent name. :]
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
I thought of you when I wrote that :D :D
[info]ayesakara wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 01:52 pm (UTC)
Haha! Justin knows everything. :)
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:04 pm (UTC)
Yes, he's brilliant :D
[info]dreamcatcher wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 04:42 pm (UTC)
Looks mah-ve-lous! No tweaking needed. For some reason, to me, counting Brian's breath till 112 adds such a surreal touch of reality. I love the parts about using lube as vaseline and the sand in his ass. Hee..
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
hee, thanks. I think being in a sandstorm would be soooo eerie, and I wanted a way to make it sound real, if you know what I mean.
[info]lesser_gods wrote:
Sep. 20th, 2005 05:07 pm (UTC)
Or maybe it was like being blind in a room with a television tuned to static.

the entire story is just beyond brilliant, but that's the line I want to steal. omg, much adoration!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
Ooo thanks! I'm all fuzzy with compliments from you :D
[info]msjudi wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 05:53 am (UTC)
LOL adorable!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:13 pm (UTC)
:D :D Thanks Judi!
(Anonymous) wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:08 am (UTC)
*high fives*
"Now?" Haha, good times.
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
Re: *high fives*
Heh, Yeah. Brian will make sexual innuendo jokes on his death bed :D
[info]qafhappy wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:39 am (UTC)
Interesting!

*posted it*
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:14 pm (UTC)
yay!
[info]vedaprophet wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 03:31 pm (UTC)
OMG SO GOOD!!! how do you do AU so in character? it rocks!!

*loves loves loves*

and anyway, you had me at:

“What are we doing in rural China again?” asked Brian.

“Adopting a child,” said Justin.


BWAH! :p

[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC)
Ha, because in my twisted brain, it could really happen :D

*loves you back*

I had a brief moment where they were going to adopt, but then my Brian-bullshit-o-meter went off and I just COULD NOT see Brian agreeing to it. So then I lit upon Ted *evil smile*
[info]dreambee3 wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 04:47 pm (UTC)
Here is my constructive criticism - wow! Loved the imagination – setting it in China, adopting a baby on behalf of Ted and Blake! Loved the humor amid the panic. Brian’s first thought when Justin offered him lube – so funny! And Justin being so Justin - always organized, always armed with knowledge that he had remembered from somewhere - this time the coffee table book! And ouch, I felt the sand stinging! Wonderful job once again.
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 08:06 pm (UTC)
Hahaha, thanks. It was kind of a last minute thing. Then again, procrastination sometimes helps :D
[info]aurora_84 wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 05:40 pm (UTC)
Wheeee, they're getting a baby for Ted. Theodore/Brian = BFF4eva!

Loved the idea, loved the characterisations.

:X:X:X
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC)
Thanks! EEE. I think I'd like Ted as a father. He'd be adorably neurotic and Blake would have to balance him out :D
[info]happier_bunny wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 07:12 pm (UTC)
Giggling. This was much fun!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 21st, 2005 08:08 pm (UTC)
Hee, Yay! Thanks :D
[info]url_girl wrote:
Sep. 22nd, 2005 07:10 am (UTC)
“What are we doing in rural China again?” asked Brian.

“Adopting a child,” said Justin.


OMG I KNEW THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS IN 513!!!

“I think I have sand in my ass.”

“And this lube smells funny.”


*dead*

Also, why couldn't Ted/Blake pick up child themselves? AM CURIOUS OMG. FIC NEEDS PART TWO PLZ. :X
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 22nd, 2005 05:17 pm (UTC)


HAHAHA.

I don't know why Ted/Blake couldn't pick him up themselves. Maybe Ted has health problems and can't fly on planes or something :D
[info]url_girl wrote:
Sep. 22nd, 2005 08:35 pm (UTC)
Oh god, bwaha! Now I'm picturing Ted turning six kinds of green at the thought of flying because he gets airsick easy and Brian being all, "How did you think you were going to actually get this kid of yours, through FedEx?" And then after much eye rolling on his part and bribing on Ted's part, Brian and Justin are dubbed Fed and Ex. ;))
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 22nd, 2005 11:40 pm (UTC)
That's it, I officially love you. I like your version better than anything I could have come up with. You should write that scene as a prequel to my craptastic "how I got Brian and Justin in a Sandstorm".
[info]url_girl wrote:
Sep. 23rd, 2005 09:40 am (UTC)
aldkfjaslfdkj. I will try. :X

Also? I love you too. :">
[info]kitkatbyte wrote:
Sep. 25th, 2005 01:49 pm (UTC)
Very interesting! It's a good thing Justin knew what to do!
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Sep. 25th, 2005 06:56 pm (UTC)
haha, interesting is the word you use when you don't quite know what else to say. It's okay if you don't like it. I'm not sure I like it.

But Justin is totally a ninja and could get out of anything.
[info]critic75 wrote:
Apr. 11th, 2007 11:55 pm (UTC)
Very well written. It brought back memories of walking home from school in West Texas. Some may think that cowboys wear those silk scarves around their neck for show, but there is nothing better for tying over your head in a sandstorm. It's thin enough to allow you to see through but closely woven to keep the sand out of your eyes and mouth, and allow you to breathe.
[info]darksylvia wrote:
Apr. 27th, 2007 04:51 pm (UTC)
Hee! You know, LJ is the devil, it didn't deliver this notification to me at all. But thanks for reading it. My sandstorm knowledge was through copious and judicious use of google, so I'm glad that didn't ring all false. Also, SCORE, my silk scarves could be used as life saving devices!